Well, I can tell you this. You will face some challenges in life. It should be expected. You can decide right now, that when you encounter these challenges how you will cope with those challenges. If you do that now, when they come you are not reacting so much as you are following a predefined process. That alone will eliminate a lot of sadness.
Reality says that
- someone will let you down
- someone will lie to you
- your car could break down
- you will be late and miss a deadline
- Your cake will fall or food will burn (got a few cooks out there)
- Other things that you can think of here……… (You get the idea by now)
So when we go ahead and mentally acknowledge that we can move on to 2 other levels.
- How can you be proactive in avoiding or preparing for those and similar events
- What process will you develop for dealing with those and other dissapointments
Now, when events occur in your life that you rather not have to face, instead of breaking down to a state of depression (yes I am exaggerating to prove a point), you now can choose to remain upbeat and eager to move on. Your focus should be on 3 things when facing a challenging event….
- What is the lesson in this that I can take with me from it? (That means you experience growth from the situation)
- What real impact will it have and how to I minimize it?
- What is my next step for recovering from it? (Now you have a road map for getting back on top)
If you right now that this is a smart thing to do what reason would you have to dwell in the misery of sadness. You don’t have time. You were mentally prepared and your focus is on moving forward instead of feeling like a victim. You see it as an opportunity to learn and grown instead of a set back. Now. I think that you can see how happiness is a choice. The problem is that it doesn’t feel like a choice until you have a certain thought process about it.
Now you can see how it IS a choice because your mind will cause you to perceive things either in one way or another. You have to control your mind and not let your mind control you. You have to take control of your thoughts and emotions. It is a process because it is not something we were taught so don’t beat yourself up if you have to work on it. I had to work on it for a long time. However, it is worth it. I promise.
Because for me, happiness is no longer a choice, it is a default state of mind. Sometimes, people assume something is wrong because I am in a situation in which you are supposed to be sad according to societal norm and expectations. I am usually smiling and thinking about how I could have prevented it and how I can most effectively share a message/lesson with other people so that they can avoid it. Not that I never experience sadness, disappointment, etc. I just don’t dwell there long enough for it to matter. My default is happiness because of a certain frame of mind.
I wish that same reality for you.